Canadians: Caution! You are Living In a Low-Gravity Area!

I love weird science news like this. Of course, the Truly Scientific Explanation is that Canadians live at closer to the top of the world than the rest of us and so they are further away from the Heavy Gravity Making Stuff which, naturally sank to the bottom of the world from it's own weight. That's why they have a whole continent at the bottom of the world and nothing but ice at the top.

Whaddaya think I am, dumb or somethin'?